Self-confidence is extremely important in every aspect of our lives. Self-confident people can inspire others, and really have faith in themselves that they can and will succeed in whatever they do. On the contrary, people who lack self-confidence may constantly question their actions, and may feel like they cannot do something because they aren’t confident enough. If you feel like you lack self-confidence, the good news is that you can easily build your self-esteem. You can, slowly but surely, learn to love yourself and regain confidence in yourself that you can do anything you want. This also means having the confidence to make decisions, so when it comes to sex it’s important to be confident enough in yourself to speak up to avoid agreeing to something that you don’t want to do.
A person with low self-confidence may easily be persuaded and influenced. Lack of confidence can lead to other people governing your behaviour and having influence over the decisions that you make and the actions that you do. A person who lacks confidence may:
- Always try to stay in their comfort zone.
- Avoid taking risks and doing something that they’re not used to doing – this avoids the risk of any problems or difficulties.
- Avoid any task that may result in failure.
- Constantly seek the approval and opinion of people before doing something.
On the contrary, a person with high self-esteem may believe that what they’re doing is right, even if they’re put down and criticised by other people. A person with confidence may be willing to take risks and chances, and will go the extra mile to achieve extra results because they have the confidence that even if they hit difficulty, they can overcome it. Although it’s not a good thing to be over-confident – and become cocky or arrogant – self-confidence is important to learn, because if you lack self-assurance with everything that you do, it can become self-destructive and you will begin to see everything in a negative light. Confident people are often more positive, as they believe in themselves and their abilities.
When it comes to sex, it’s important to feel comfortable with your decision to have sex. Don’t ever let anybody pressure you into doing something that you don’t want to do, and if you feel that you’re not ready, make sure you speak out! If you lack one self-confidence to speak up, you may end up being pushed or manipulated into doing something that you don’t want to do; whether that’s drinking alcohol, stealing, smoking or having sex. When it comes to sex, you need to look out for number one (yourself!). Put yourself first, and if somebody is doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, get out of the situation straight away. Immediately say that you want to stop or that you feel ill and that you want to go home. Once you’re away from the scenario, you can think properly about what you want and whether it is the right decision for you.
There is nothing wrong with waiting to have sex and putting yourself before your partner, so never do anything that you’re not 100% sure about doing.