Having your first sexual encounter is an extremely big deal. Your first sexual encounter may vary from masturbation, to feeling a sexual attraction to your first time having sex, so it really is a personal journey and something that everybody feels different about. It can be distressing if handled incorrectly or if it’s too rushed and you don’t have enough knowledge, however it can also be something that’s incredibly special between you and your partner as you may be sharing your body for the first time and it can really have an effect on you. You may feel slightly strange after your first sexual encounter, but this is very normal as your body may feel in a way ‘invaded’ by somebody, as they will have accessed your body like you’ve never experienced before. However, the main thing to remember is that there is no rush with this, so only engage in sexual activity when you are completely ready and don’t do something that you’re not happy with.
The first thing to remember is to be safe; when having sex for the first time, although you may want to focus on the passion and emotions you also need to bear in mind your safety. Make sure that you wear a condom – yes, every time you have sex, unless you’re on the contraceptive pill – and don’t take unnecessary risks. Remember that STIs can be transmitted if you’re not wearing a condom (and some are transmitted even with a condom) and you can get pregnant even from your first time of having sex.
Try not to build your expectation too high of what your first sexual encounter will be like. Whether it’s losing your virginity for the first time or exploring your body for the first time, there will always be things that might not go according to plan. Don’t imagine your first time to be exactly like it is in the movies – in real life, it’s often fumbly and hard to get your bodies in sync, however this is completely normal and it will become more magical over time. Don’t expect to have a mind blowing orgasm the first time that you have sex either, as this can also put a lot of pressure on your first time when in reality, you don’t yet know what each other likes or dislikes. Learning to have good sex is a skill that you will develop over time, so avoid setting your expectation too high so that you don’t get too disappointed if it’s not like you anticipated.
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Remember to take it slow, whatever it is you’re doing. Make sure that you and your partner are comfortable, and that you talk about how you’re feeling. Your first sexual encounter can be particularly daunting, and if you suddenly feel uncomfortable and you want to stop – make this known to your partner.
It’s normal for your first sexual experience to hurt slightly, and many girls experience vaginal bleeding after their vagina has been penetrated by foreplay or intercourse. This is often the hymen breaking, which is the small membrane that surrounds or partially covers the vaginal opening. Many girls will break their hymen before engaging in sexual activity – for example through sports or by using condoms – however for many girls this happens during their first sexual experience. Don’t be alarmed as this is completely normal, and don’t panic if this happens. However, if it’s really hurting you then stop immediately. The best way to avoid it hurting is by using a lubricant that will help you to feel more lubricated and less dry.
Remember that your first sexual experience is a really big deal, so don’t rush into it and don’t underestimate how it is such an important part of your development as a woman, whatever age you are.